by katawa Sat May 29, 2010 1:37 pmLumapit c baby centipede k daddy centipede at me binulong
Hinimatay ang dad
Anong bnulong ng anak?
"dad, bili m k0 slippers yung
Havaianas"
Hinimatay ang dad
Anong bnulong ng anak?
"dad, bili m k0 slippers yung
Havaianas"
+111
joncarlo27
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115 posters
FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!
Poll
Do you like the quotes?
- [ 1793 ]
[47%]
- [ 1230 ]
- [32%]
- [ 128 ]
- [3%]
- [ 315 ]
- [8%]
- [ 135 ]
- [4%]
- [ 67 ]
- [2%]
- [ 129 ]
- [3%]
Total Votes: 3797
Poll closed
Poll closed
katawa- Member
- Posts : 93
Reputation : 10
Join date : 28/05/2010
katawa- Member
- Posts : 93
Reputation : 10
Join date : 28/05/2010
May alagang carabao ang tatay….intusan nya ang anak nya…
TATAY: “anak painumin mo yung carabao natin.”
ANAK: “opo ‘tay.”
Pagkalipas ang dalawang minuto…
ANAK: “tay ayaw naman uminom ng carabao natin… ”
TATAY: “bakit?! saan mo ba kasi pinainom yung carabao?? ”
ANAK: “sa baso.”
TATAY: “bugok ka pala eh…lagyan mo ng straw!”
TATAY: “anak painumin mo yung carabao natin.”
ANAK: “opo ‘tay.”
Pagkalipas ang dalawang minuto…
ANAK: “tay ayaw naman uminom ng carabao natin… ”
TATAY: “bakit?! saan mo ba kasi pinainom yung carabao?? ”
ANAK: “sa baso.”
TATAY: “bugok ka pala eh…lagyan mo ng straw!”
katawa- Member
- Posts : 93
Reputation : 10
Join date : 28/05/2010
Bitoy: “Dagul, bakit ang pandak mo?”
Dagul: “Kasi, bata pa lang ako, ulila na ako. ”
Bitoy: “Anong kaugnayan nun sa pagiging pandak mo?”
Dagul: “Sira pala ulo mo! Wala ngang nagpalaki sa akin! ”
Dagul: “Kasi, bata pa lang ako, ulila na ako. ”
Bitoy: “Anong kaugnayan nun sa pagiging pandak mo?”
Dagul: “Sira pala ulo mo! Wala ngang nagpalaki sa akin! ”
katawa- Member
- Posts : 93
Reputation : 10
Join date : 28/05/2010
Anong mas Matalim?
Anong mas matalim ang NGIPIN o PUWET?
isip…..
isip…..
isip…..
isip…..
isip…..
kung ang sagot mo ay PUWET tama ka… bakit kamo?
kaya bang pumutol ng TAE ang NGIPIN mo.
Anong mas matalim ang NGIPIN o PUWET?
isip…..
isip…..
isip…..
isip…..
isip…..
kung ang sagot mo ay PUWET tama ka… bakit kamo?
kaya bang pumutol ng TAE ang NGIPIN mo.
katawa- Member
- Posts : 93
Reputation : 10
Join date : 28/05/2010
Kinuha ng isang Kanong Pari si Pacquiao as interpreter..
Pari: The Lord was crucified between 2 robbers.
Pac: Si Hesus ay ipinako s gitna ng 2 goma.Pari: We need to sacrifice.
Pac: Kailangan natin ng 2 sakong bigas.
Pari: If we do not repent,
Pac: Kapag hindi natin pininturahang muli,
Pari: Thewrath of God will come upon you.
Pac: Ang mga daga ng Diyos ay pupunta sayo.(nagtawanan)
Pari: Well.. Well..
Pac: Balon.. Balon..
Pari: The Lord was crucified between 2 robbers.
Pac: Si Hesus ay ipinako s gitna ng 2 goma.Pari: We need to sacrifice.
Pac: Kailangan natin ng 2 sakong bigas.
Pari: If we do not repent,
Pac: Kapag hindi natin pininturahang muli,
Pari: Thewrath of God will come upon you.
Pac: Ang mga daga ng Diyos ay pupunta sayo.(nagtawanan)
Pari: Well.. Well..
Pac: Balon.. Balon..
katawa- Member
- Posts : 93
Reputation : 10
Join date : 28/05/2010
1 day i read
smoking is bad
i stop smoking
1 day i read
drinking is bad
i stop drinking
1 day i read
sex is bad
ay naku!..
I stop reading..
Reading is bad!!
smoking is bad
i stop smoking
1 day i read
drinking is bad
i stop drinking
1 day i read
sex is bad
ay naku!..
I stop reading..
Reading is bad!!
katawa- Member
- Posts : 93
Reputation : 10
Join date : 28/05/2010
JUAN: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay
kaming kumain. Ngayongmahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
PEDRO: Baligtad yata?
JUAN: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!
kaming kumain. Ngayongmahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
PEDRO: Baligtad yata?
JUAN: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!
melvinoyoma- Member
Posts : 4
Reputation : 10
Join date : 01/06/2010
Location : paranaque
hahaha.. gagaling nyO pO...
nice quotes po!
Kahapon
nasaktan ako nung makita ko siya, di na niya kasi ako kilala pero nung
tinitigan ko siyang mabuti, na-realize ko di ko din pala sya kilala.
Kaya naman pala.
nice quotes po!
Kahapon
nasaktan ako nung makita ko siya, di na niya kasi ako kilala pero nung
tinitigan ko siyang mabuti, na-realize ko di ko din pala sya kilala.
Kaya naman pala.
lonelygirlhannah027- Member
- Posts : 3
Reputation : 10
Join date : 01/06/2010
lol! flower elephant king farao rendeer santa albino cherry cheers basketball sleep study pasahero:para
driver:saan po kayo
pasahero: jan lng sa botolan
driver:manong kurang da toy bayar mo
pasahero:manong paki urong da jay kanto
The End
lonelygirlhannah027- Member
- Posts : 3
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Join date : 01/06/2010
kua
lonelygirlhannah027- Member
- Posts : 3
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Join date : 01/06/2010
kj_13th- Member
- Posts : 2
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
puede maq post ng jokes 
kj_13th- Member
- Posts : 2
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
gusto mo bang mag artista..?
kxama m0 xna sina:
MIKE SOTTO
RICO YAN
NIDA BLANCA
MARKY CIELO
DIRECTED BY:
RUDY FERNANDEZ
MUSIC BY:
FRANCIS MAGALONA
FUETURING:
MICHAEL JACKSON & PRES. CORY AQUINO
TITLE:
" IKAW NALANG ANG HINIHINTAY "
anu3 6ust0 m0 ba maq artista...?
maq auditi0n ka nua....
kxama m0 xna sina:
MIKE SOTTO
RICO YAN
NIDA BLANCA
MARKY CIELO
DIRECTED BY:
RUDY FERNANDEZ
MUSIC BY:
FRANCIS MAGALONA
FUETURING:
MICHAEL JACKSON & PRES. CORY AQUINO
TITLE:
" IKAW NALANG ANG HINIHINTAY "
anu3 6ust0 m0 ba maq artista...?
maq auditi0n ka nua....
mreow!- Member
Posts : 13
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
hey guys!
love the jokes:P
ill try to post here too
love the jokes:P
ill try to post here too
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
--STUPID STUDENTS--
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
_____________________________
TEACHER: Mary, give me a sentence starting with "I"
MARY: I is...
TEACHER: No Mary, always say "I am.."
MARY: Ok, " I am the ninth letter of the alphabet"
_____________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIE: Because George still had axe in his hand.
_____________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
_____________________________
TEACHER: BRYLE, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BRYLE: No Sir, it's the same dog.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
_____________________________
TEACHER: Mary, give me a sentence starting with "I"
MARY: I is...
TEACHER: No Mary, always say "I am.."
MARY: Ok, " I am the ninth letter of the alphabet"
_____________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIE: Because George still had axe in his hand.
_____________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
_____________________________
TEACHER: BRYLE, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BRYLE: No Sir, it's the same dog.
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
INTERVIEWER: Ano ang plano nyo sa mga homeless?
ERAP: Marami, kaso may problema.
INTERVIEWER: Ano po yun?
ERAP: ang hirap nilang hanapin, kasi wala silang address.
ERAP: Marami, kaso may problema.
INTERVIEWER: Ano po yun?
ERAP: ang hirap nilang hanapin, kasi wala silang address.
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
Nag-iinit na ako! Hahaplusin ko na ang iyong damit!
--plantsa (excited)
--plantsa (excited)
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
Bakit ako ang laging hinahanap ng guard? Crush niya siguro ako.Gosh.
--ambisyosong I.D
--ambisyosong I.D
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
Ay! Mga papa! pinag-aagawan ako! Haleerr! Swerte ko kaya!
--baklang basketball
--baklang basketball
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
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Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
Hot ka ba? Pwede ako sa pwet o sa bibig!
--thermometer
--thermometer
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
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Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
--pipi
--pipi
Last edited by mreow! on Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:54 pm; edited 3 times in total
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
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Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
"Pokpok!!!!"
--martilyo
--martilyo
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
NOON: anak tago!!
...
may
hapon!!
NGAYON: anak labas!!
may hapon!!
toinks
toinks...
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
corny guy nagdidiskarte..
"you're like those seagulls in finding nemo..
you're mine! mine! mine! mine! mine!."
"you're like those seagulls in finding nemo..
you're mine! mine! mine! mine! mine!."
mreow!- Member
- Posts : 13
Reputation : 10
Join date : 02/06/2010
Age : 31
Location : iloilo
boy: can i touch your software?
girl:
show me first your hardware..
boy: can i install it in your
system?
...
girl: if you cover it first with
anti-virus.. O.O
girl:
show me first your hardware..
boy: can i install it in your
system?
...
girl: if you cover it first with
anti-virus.. O.O
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