FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

BOY1 : parE aLam mOh bah qNG cnO idoL q ??



BOY2 : cnO??



BOY1 : c ArnOLd SchwarzenEggeR



BOY2 : oWwS?!!..spELL mOh nGa??



BOY1 : jOKe Lng nOh..c jET Li tLga idOL q nOh! ahahahaha

XD

Pedro: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD.
Juan: Anong problema?
Pedro: Walang picture, tsaka sound. Sayang. Suspense thriller pa yata to. Tsk, tsk…
Juan: Anong title?
Pedro: “The Lens Cleaner”Â

Holiday TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino at Apolinario Mabini?
STUDENT: Ma’am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak ng holiday

Watcher
nanonood lang Nasa bubong ang sakristan
namboboso sa pari at madre…..
Madre: pano pag nabuntis ako??
Pari: bahala na ang nasa itaas!
Sakristan: Tang ina, bakit ako? Nanonood lang naman ako!

Maga
isang araw may lalaking pumunta sa doctor. Kasi maliit si totoy.
Guy: doc wag kayong tatawa ha!
Doc: eh bakit naman ako tatawa eh doctor nga ako eh…
Guy:(shows his 2 inch dick)
Doc: (laughing) oh my…hehehe
Guy:sabi ko sa yo hwag kang tatawa eh…
Doc: eh anong problema…
Guys: eh kasi doc namamaga eh…

Panty colors


Panty colors and what they symbolize:White- CleanPink- FragranceYellow- Sweet tasteRed- MeronBlack- SeductiveBrown- DirtyWala- Delicious

pakurot nga..
minsan may maglola…
apo: lola pakurot nga ng pisngi mo??
lola: sige apo kurot na…
apo: lola pakurot nga ng braso mo??
lola: sige kurot lng!
apo: lola pakurot nga ng bilbil mo?? lola:
gago! hindi kobilbil yan suso ko yan!

Science TriviA!!



Alam mo ba na ang buhok mo sa puwet ay karugtong ng pilik mata? Its true! subukanmong hilain mapapapikit ka! sigurado yan! Try mo!

STARBUCKS

ERAP ordering coffee at Starbucks

Waiter: DECAF?

ERAP: OO, alangan naman dePLATE

NEW BOND

Pierce Brosnan resigned from being James Bond

and was substituted by a filipino actor named Joseph Estrada.

IQ 007, First movie "His Brain Is Not Enough."

Soon to be shown to theatres near you.

Erap habang nasa pharmacy….
ERAP: Pagbilhan mo ako ng vitamins para sa apo ko…

Tindera: Sir, vitamin A, B, or C?

ERAP: Kahit ano na lang tutal di pa naman niya alam ang alphabet,

Juan

Professor: cno sa inyo ang nkaexperience having sex with ghosts????
tinaas ni juan ang kanyang kamay....
Professor: Really? ano ang feeling having sex with ghosts????
Juan: Ay putcha!!!! akala ko goats!!!

nc2 galing ng mga pinost ninyo!!1

camera ba ako?
kz tueing makikita nila ako
NANGITI SILA!!!!]
LAKAS KO NOH??!!!

Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That's why.

Whenever I hear people say something bad about you, like when they say that you are not cute enough, I would always come to your defense and say "She's trying to be one naman a!"

I had a dream about you. Nasa heaven daw tayo with two angels. Your angel is cute but mine is not, so tampo ko. I asked why cute ang angel mo. They said: "Balance of nature".

If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.

No matter how sad, no matter how sick, I feel better just thinking of you... But I'm happier each time I send you a message 'coz I know I'll be disturbing you!

At this moment 3.7 million are sleeping, 2.3 million are falling in love, 4.1 million are eating and only 1 cutie in the whole world is reading this message. Naks! Nakangiti na yan!

Ano ang sinasabi after sex? Kung asawa mo, I love you, pag kabit, ang galing mo, Kung syota, wow isa pa, pag di kilala, bilisan mo,3 hours lang tayo!

MGA BABAE SA IMPYERNO:

mga babae sa impyerno nagtanong:satanas bakit ang liliit ng mga t*t* dito sa impyerno?

satanas sumagot:g*g*! kung malalaki ang t*t* dito!......di parang nasa heaven narin kayo!!!!tama!!

ok ok ok so....bago lng aq d2, sana magus2han nyo qoute q..
kaso bka may nkapareho na e2...

Love is lyk a battlefield,
mkakasakit ka pra sa love mo
pwde ka msaktan dahil sa love mo
laban lng ng laban hanggang sa katapusan,
at mamatay pra sa minamahal mo....


kya advice lng p're. nxt tym na manligaw ka...
Dala ka ng granada, pra anytime handa! nyehehehehe
ano? gus2 mo pa RPG?