FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

hrAp
mgsb
ng
“sori”
hrAp
mgsb
ng
“mhL kta”
hrAp
mgsb
ng
“kaiLngn kta”
pro
nLmn
ko

pnkmhrp
pLng
sbhn
ung

Lower Rural Ruler

nG 10tymz n mbilis!22o!Try mo!

..w/c is better, 2 have a crush or 2 have a relax0nshp? CRUSH-pg ng ‘hi’ sau,sobrang hapi mu na.. GF/BF-prng ala lng.
CRUSH-pg bngyan ka ng candy,it2go m 4 lyf.
GF/BF-pg bngyan ka ng gift,ssbhn m ang cheap!
CRUSH-pg hnwkan hands mu,ti2bok ng mbls heart mu.
GF/BF-la lng..snay kna.
CRUSH-itxt k lng ng ‘msta’ ta2l0n kn sa tuwa..
GF/BF-pg tnxt k ng ‘labyu’ n0rmal lng.. ..
MAG-CRUSH KA NA LANG!, ,gnun? Tama dba.:-D ...

Want a Lover?
NURSE: can cure a heartbroken & care for you
MASCOM: who can speak about love
LAWYER: who can justify love
PMA: who can protect love
ENGINEER: who can measure, design & build love to a better one
TEACHER: can teach you how to move on & love agent
Eto mas astig…
HRM: who can manage to give the best taste of love kaso may epal…
COM.SCI: it can easily shutdwn your eX, format your future, & restart your love life...

PUSO:mhl q tlga xa.
ISIP:alm q,sobra p nga db?
PUSO:lam m0 pla,bt plit mo p xang knklmutan?
ISIP:ksi ayw n ktang msktn.
STOMACH: s sobra m0ng pgmmhal dk n kmkain,tula2 p.
LIVER: korek,plgi k png umiin0m, naaapek2hn nkmi ni kidney.
LUNGS: aq dn nhhrpan ng huminga..
-mga emotErang LamAng LoOb!!:-D

may 1 la2ki ang gus2ng iligaw ang knyang ama sa gubat dahil sa skit nitong wla nang lunas at pgod nrin
xang mag alaga d2. pinasan nya ang kanyang ama hanggang makarating sa kasukalan ng gubat, ngunit napansin
nya na pinuputol ng kanyang ama ang bwat sanga ng punong madaanan nila, tinanong ng la2ki kung bkt nya gngwa i2,
sumagot ang kanyang ama,

”pinuputol ko ang mga sanga dahil…

Ayokong maligaw ka pag uwi mo..”

What is love?

MATHEMATICIAN: love is undefined.

PHYSICIST: love is d force of atracxon btwn 2 hearts.

CHEMIST: love is d saturated solution of feelings.

PROGRAMER: love is a bug of everything.

NOLI DE CASTRO: Pag-ibig ba kabayan? Murang pabahay yan!

thirty percent of the people is now drinking coffee,
fourty percent is studying,
twenty nine percent is watching movie and
one duffer is now using his computer and reading this message!

In case of fire you hav to read this mesg

...
...
...
...
...
...
... Stupid I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE!!

You - cute
You = hot
You = sweet
You = intelligent
You = amazing
You = perfect
Me = liar

Newsflash - Gagawa rin ng pelikula sina Vince
Hizon at Porky Pig ng animated na pelikula tulad ng ginawa ni Michael Jordan
at Bugs Bunny na Space Jam. Ang titulo ng pelikula nila ay Pork and Vince.

News Update: Three rebel leaders were killed. They
are Abu Sado, Abu Rido and Abu Kado... They are now looking for Abu Loy. Abu
Nohan mo muna, pwede?

Flash News: Batman luking 4 erap.
According to batman, it is because erap walk like a penguin & thinks like a
joker.

Gabi-gabi hindi ako makatulog. Lagi-lagi
kitang iniisip. Iisa lang ang ipinagdarasal ko pagkagat ng dilim. Sana...
Huwag ka nang pupunta rito, peste kang magnanakaw ka!

When i was lost u were there, wen i was
down, you were there, wen i was brokenhearted, u were there, when i got sick u
were there... aba! di kaya ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko!

Last night i dreamt of U. this morning my
first thought was U. im thinking of U right now and til i go to bed tonight.
bukas I'll thik of V naman.

Take care of urself, eat on tym, tk ur vit,
exercise, ligo k, kain k gulay n fruits, wag paulan at puyat. ingat pgtawid yoko
mapahamak k mbabawasan fans ko.

Nasa
bundok ka nahulog cel mo at asawa mo, anong gagawin mo? magpakatotoo ka,
sagipin mo cel mo at isigaw mo sa asawa mo text na lang kitaaaaaa'

Padre:
ikaw lalake ang haligi ng tahanan at ikaw naman babae ang ilaw ng tahanan.
"Eh, padre ano ako." Sino ka ba? "biyenan" ikaw ang anay ng
tahanan

Mike: bakit lumaki ang paa ni Amy?
Jun:Sinipa yung punso
Mike:Bakit lumaki ang nguso ni Fee?
Jun: diruan yung punso. O san ka pupunta pare?
Mike: iihi sa punso!!!

Isang probinsyano nagrent ng room sa hotel

Prob: alam ko probinsyano lang ako kaya wag mo akong lokohin! bakit ganito room ko?
Maliit!! walang kama at bintana!! mahal na mahal ng binayad ko tapos ganito lang??

Roomboy: Sir nasa elevator pa lang tayo.. Huwag kang excited!!!

Ina: Anak matalino ka daw sa math sabi ng titser mo
Anak: Opo
Ina: sige kunwari binigyan kita ng 5 apples and 3 grapes. Ano ang sago mo?
Anak: Thank you po!!!

AnaK: Mom i know the truth
Mom: ha?? eto P500 huwag ka lang maingay sa Dad mo!!
Anak: Dad i know the truth
Dad: ha?? eto ang P1000 huwag ka lang maingay sa Mom mo
Anak: (ok pa ito... subukan ko nga sa katulong) Inday i know the truth!!!
Inday: SA WAKAS!!! YAKAPIN MO AKO ANAK!!!

Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.

"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,"

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.