by haha.. i guess u've watched d commercial of koko crunch??? wen the chocolate burst into the wheat field.. instead of chocolate, it's a shit.. hahaha 
+111
joncarlo27
kentoii neii
ann19marg
ryanguballa123
dhinz13
acosikhikai
danielle
crisbaidiango
ClyDhel
maeloren
Lovelyjoy Rosales
jason143
clemenz23
johnus
dayann
kj_24_kj
coolet
♥♥keyt♥♥
Sensai
JOKER
soxializta*09
Aiaj13
big_Byte
ringo
nuriko104
kitty_parfait
shanty_girl11
arielle_anne
ipofz
kim_chow25
uchihasasuke10
tamahomelove
-jocylicious-
bheatotxzh
iyah khin mhie mhie
cutenet26
J3J3Gurl09
royman1234
bAby lOVe
mreow!
kj_13th
lonelygirlhannah027
melvinoyoma
katawa
-atta_girl-
inamorata
pototoy
markbugz05
redspy09q@yahoo.com
clarkz
yanyan
dukman
_HEAVENMINE_
coolalbert
Xxkarlo_rosalxX
aQua05
...sHiAoxee...
gkhatcee
lonelyguy92
Deathgod L
violet
ms.iHEARTgreen
tazexe
username12909
kittynaj
rhowenmantua
XxmegumixX
adikdota_30
Secretkurt
-ryusatsujenken-
xoxo_dhine
adek25
lhadyCYRAX
chelle143-jochelle
princexsz
master_2009
mAuiAndxAng
darkside808FAQ
Miss_Anne
ushirima tenko
kalikotert
crys3r
♥KoRniKO♥
napster
ac
swastika
jackyfermo
zero26sai
blorry
wizKetiwiz
MrKhuletz12
maria anjanette
geegee
kyleXY
beng
thepunks2231
morpheus
lady_yasha
funny_maker
chupolski
caizr
jackass_04
markyboy17
XaviEr099
shayneMeLab
no1caresme101
trite0716
lPride22
†pEpih†
cel
deyomornia
115 posters
FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!
Poll
Do you like the quotes?
- [ 1793 ]
[47%]
- [ 1230 ]
- [32%]
- [ 128 ]
- [3%]
- [ 315 ]
- [8%]
- [ 135 ]
- [4%]
- [ 67 ]
- [2%]
- [ 129 ]
- [3%]
Total Votes: 3797
Poll closed
Poll closed
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
A bored sadist, murderer, necrophile, zoophile, pyromaniac and masochist in a psychiatric ward.
SADIST: hey, why don’t we torture a cat?
ZOOPHILE: yeah! We’ll torture a cat then I love you! it!
MURDERER: we’ll torture it, I love you! it and them kill it!
NECROPHILE: we’ll torture it, I love you! it, kill it, and then I love you! it again!
PYROMANIAC: Yeah, then we’ll burn the cat!
[sudden silence.. Then all asked the masochist, “WHY don’t you say anything?”]
MASOCHIST: meow!
SADIST: hey, why don’t we torture a cat?
ZOOPHILE: yeah! We’ll torture a cat then I love you! it!
MURDERER: we’ll torture it, I love you! it and them kill it!
NECROPHILE: we’ll torture it, I love you! it, kill it, and then I love you! it again!
PYROMANIAC: Yeah, then we’ll burn the cat!
[sudden silence.. Then all asked the masochist, “WHY don’t you say anything?”]
MASOCHIST: meow!
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Judge: why did you kill your boyfriend?
Lady: he called me from school, took me to bedroom, removed my unifrom, laid me on the bed, spread my legs and said, “joke joke joke!”
Lady: he called me from school, took me to bedroom, removed my unifrom, laid me on the bed, spread my legs and said, “joke joke joke!”
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Pulis: Sino nakasaksi sa aksidente?
Tambay: ako sir! Kulay itim na van ang nakabangga.
Pulis: nakuha mo ba yung plate number?
Tambay: hindi sir, nkaturnilyo kasi.
Tambay: ako sir! Kulay itim na van ang nakabangga.
Pulis: nakuha mo ba yung plate number?
Tambay: hindi sir, nkaturnilyo kasi.
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Girl: taguan tayo.. Pag nakita mo ko papayag akong makipag sex sa yo…
Boy: eh paano kung hindi kita mahanap??
Girl: ehh.. basta nasa likod lang ako ng pinto!!!
Boy: eh paano kung hindi kita mahanap??
Girl: ehh.. basta nasa likod lang ako ng pinto!!!
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Patient: Dok, malungkot ako dito sa mental… kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang aking sarili…
Doctor: ano naman ang laman ng sulat mo??
Patient: aba.. ewan!!! Next week ko pa matatanggap eh!!!
Doctor: ano naman ang laman ng sulat mo??
Patient: aba.. ewan!!! Next week ko pa matatanggap eh!!!
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Guro: ano ang dapat gawin kapag lumindol??
Pepito: buksan po ang ilaw!!!
Guro: Bakit?
Pepito: kasi po sa kubo naming madalas lumindol pag gabi… pero pagnagswitch ako ng ilaw biglang natigil…
Pepito: buksan po ang ilaw!!!
Guro: Bakit?
Pepito: kasi po sa kubo naming madalas lumindol pag gabi… pero pagnagswitch ako ng ilaw biglang natigil…
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Pedro: Galing ako sa doctor, nakabili na ako ng hearing aid grabe ang linaw na ng pandinig ko
Juan: talga?! Magkano ang bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang…
Juan: talga?! Magkano ang bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang…
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
In an anatomy exam, the teacher asks the class to draw a female reproductive organ… one girl feels shy and looks down….
Then a boy shouts…. “sir oh… may kodigo!!!”
Then a boy shouts…. “sir oh… may kodigo!!!”
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Killer: Father mangungumpisal po ako…
Father: ano ba kasalanan mo???
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 katao…
Father: BAkit??
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos… kayo po ba naniniwala??
Father: Dati, pero ngayon trip-trip lang…
Father: ano ba kasalanan mo???
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 katao…
Father: BAkit??
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos… kayo po ba naniniwala??
Father: Dati, pero ngayon trip-trip lang…
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
BF: sunduin kita mamaya,bubusina nalang ako sa kapag nasa harap na ng bahay nyo
GF: Ok sige, anong dala mong sasakyan
BF: Wala, busina lang
GF: Ok sige, anong dala mong sasakyan
BF: Wala, busina lang
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Sir: inday si sir mo ito.. nabangga ang kotse ko at I need cash
Inday: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh??
Sir: Gaga! Si sir mo ito!!!!
Inday: Gago!! Si sir ang tawag sa kin CUPCAKE!!!
Inday: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh??
Sir: Gaga! Si sir mo ito!!!!
Inday: Gago!! Si sir ang tawag sa kin CUPCAKE!!!
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Boy: Nakipag-away ako kanina
Ama: nagbibinata na anak ko ah.. Pero bakit???
Boy: eh, tinawag po kasi akong bakla!!! Hinampas ko nga ng shoulder bag ko yung mga chuva evers nay un!!! Hmpft!!!!
Ama: nagbibinata na anak ko ah.. Pero bakit???
Boy: eh, tinawag po kasi akong bakla!!! Hinampas ko nga ng shoulder bag ko yung mga chuva evers nay un!!! Hmpft!!!!
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
sa museum
aling dionesia: itu ba?? itu bang tnatawag niyung art??! pwi!! ang pangit!! nkakasuka!! pinting ba tu??
guide: hnd po mam.. salamin po tawag jan..
aling dionesia: itu ba?? itu bang tnatawag niyung art??! pwi!! ang pangit!! nkakasuka!! pinting ba tu??
guide: hnd po mam.. salamin po tawag jan..
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Panatang Kaybigan
iniibig ko ang aking mga kaybigan
ang tumanggap sa aking kahibangan
taga punas ng aking luha
tinutulungan ako mgng malakas, maligaya at mas maligaya khit wala akong pakinabang
bilang ganti ay ibibigay ko ang aking tiwala
lilibre ko cla pg ako ay my pera
susunduin ko cla pg ako ay my kotse
ccpain ko ang cnu mang umaway sakanila
sa pigi, sa hita at sa mukha
- kampay mga tol!! haha
iniibig ko ang aking mga kaybigan
ang tumanggap sa aking kahibangan
taga punas ng aking luha
tinutulungan ako mgng malakas, maligaya at mas maligaya khit wala akong pakinabang
bilang ganti ay ibibigay ko ang aking tiwala
lilibre ko cla pg ako ay my pera
susunduin ko cla pg ako ay my kotse
ccpain ko ang cnu mang umaway sakanila
sa pigi, sa hita at sa mukha
- kampay mga tol!! haha
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
A guy went to CR and sat on the toilet
wen the guy from the next cubicle started talking to him.
" pare kumusta na?? "
hesitantly he answered,
" ah, ok lang.. "
the other guy asked,
" ano gnagawa mo jan?? "
not knowing wat to say, he replied,
" eto, umeebs.. "
the other guy then said,
" Pre tawagan kita mya, my sumasagot dito sa tabi ko.. "
wen the guy from the next cubicle started talking to him.
" pare kumusta na?? "
hesitantly he answered,
" ah, ok lang.. "
the other guy asked,
" ano gnagawa mo jan?? "
not knowing wat to say, he replied,
" eto, umeebs.. "
the other guy then said,
" Pre tawagan kita mya, my sumasagot dito sa tabi ko.. "
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
spongebob: knock knock!!!
squidward: cno yan??
spongebob: ee d ako!!!
- idol tlga spongebob.. haha
squidward: cno yan??
spongebob: ee d ako!!!
- idol tlga spongebob.. haha
lady_yasha- VIP member
Posts : 183
Reputation : 12
Join date : 31/01/2010
Age : 31
Location : Angeles, pampanga
NOON::
GF: dota o ako???
BF: sorry pero DOTA!!!!!!!!!
NGAYON:
BF: wala kana oras sa akin saan ka ba
busy????
GF: LECHE!!!!!!!!
naghaharvest pa ako...
wag ka ngang magulo....
magsama kayo ng dota mo..
GF: dota o ako???
BF: sorry pero DOTA!!!!!!!!!
NGAYON:
BF: wala kana oras sa akin saan ka ba
busy????
GF: LECHE!!!!!!!!
naghaharvest pa ako...
wag ka ngang magulo....
magsama kayo ng dota mo..
lady_yasha- VIP member
- Posts : 183
Reputation : 12
Join date : 31/01/2010
Age : 31
Location : Angeles, pampanga
i miss the TIMES.....
yes the times.....
and also
the
MINUS....
lalo na yung...
DIBAY-DIBAY BA YUN????????
yes the times.....
and also
the
MINUS....
lalo na yung...
DIBAY-DIBAY BA YUN????????
lady_yasha- VIP member
- Posts : 183
Reputation : 12
Join date : 31/01/2010
Age : 31
Location : Angeles, pampanga
PEDRO: lahat ng tao nagmula kay adan at eva........
JUAN: hindi yan totoo,,, sabi ng mama ko nagmula tayo
sa unggoy..............
PEDRO: PARE HINDI NAMAN NATIN PINAGUUSAPAN
ANG PAMILYA MO.......
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Time is important
Time can heal wounds
Time can heal a broken heart
Time can make u forget
akala ko lang nun " Time is Gold " nice, improving.. hahahaha
Time can heal wounds
Time can heal a broken heart
Time can make u forget
akala ko lang nun " Time is Gold " nice, improving.. hahahaha
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Madre: ano apelyido mo iho?
Sakristan: Alam nyo na po yun sister! lagi nyo po yun hinahawakan..
Madre: Susme! BAYAG apelyido mo?
Sakristan: Sister naman… ROSARIO po!!
Sakristan: Alam nyo na po yun sister! lagi nyo po yun hinahawakan..
Madre: Susme! BAYAG apelyido mo?
Sakristan: Sister naman… ROSARIO po!!
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Boy 1 – Lahi namin ang mahabang buhay, lolo ko namantay 88 years old na.
Boy 2 – Ako lolo ko namatay 98 years na.
Boy 3 – Ala yan, Lolo ko sobrang tanda PINATAY na lang namin
Boy 2 – Ako lolo ko namatay 98 years na.
Boy 3 – Ala yan, Lolo ko sobrang tanda PINATAY na lang namin
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
Sino ang mga unang tao sa mundo?
HUDYO: Kami! Kasi kami ang nagpapako kay Kristo
INTSIK : Bakit? Kanino kayo bumili ng PAKO?
HUDYO: Kami! Kasi kami ang nagpapako kay Kristo
INTSIK : Bakit? Kanino kayo bumili ng PAKO?
kalikotert- Forum Moderator
- Posts : 285
Reputation : 22
Join date : 07/03/2010
Age : 32
During the flight to USA.
Stewardess : Sir, chewing gum para hindi sumalit ang tenga nyo during the flight.
ERAP : Thank you!
After an hour.
ERAP : Miss pano ba tatanggalin itong chewing gum sa tenga ko?
Stewardess : Sir, chewing gum para hindi sumalit ang tenga nyo during the flight.
ERAP : Thank you!
After an hour.
ERAP : Miss pano ba tatanggalin itong chewing gum sa tenga ko?
