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    funny jokes

    the taker
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    Post by the taker Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:28 pm


    ISANG ARAW SA MAY SLEX..QC
    MAY ISANG LOLA NA MAY SAKIT NA TB..

    LOLA:para po
    jeepney driver:oh lola sakay na libre na po sa inyu...
    LOLA:ay ang bait nmn n2ng batang 2..oh sige
    sapagkat ang jeep ay d-aircon di maaaring dumura ang lola kaya nmn sa kamay na lng nito inipon ang lahat ng kanyang plema...

    sumakay ang lola at bumaba sa may kanto kung saan may nagbebenta ng balut..

    LOLA:MAG KAno sa balut..
    tindero:100 po dalawa imported po kc ehh...
    LOLA:ANG MAHAL NMN itong asin magkano?
    tindero:libre po...
    LOLA:ITONG suka magkano?
    tindero:libre din po..
    LOLA:ABA suwerte nga nmn ako oo...
    {nilagyan ng asin atsuka ang kanyang kamay na may plema sabay sabi ng:}
    LOLA:ETO ANG TUNAY NA BALUT...{SRPPPP....SURPPP....}
    .
    .
    .
    .YUCKY...!!
    pale pale pale pale pale Very Happy
    <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:40 am

    the taker wrote:
    ISANG ARAW SA MAY SLEX..QC
    MAY ISANG LOLA NA MAY SAKIT NA TB..

    LOLA:para po
    jeepney driver:oh lola sakay na libre na po sa inyu...
    LOLA:ay ang bait nmn n2ng batang 2..oh sige
    sapagkat ang jeep ay d-aircon di maaaring dumura ang lola kaya nmn sa kamay na lng nito inipon ang lahat ng kanyang plema...

    sumakay ang lola at bumaba sa may kanto kung saan may nagbebenta ng balut..

    LOLA:MAG KAno sa balut..
    tindero:100 po dalawa imported po kc ehh...
    LOLA:ANG MAHAL NMN itong asin magkano?
    tindero:libre po...
    LOLA:ITONG suka magkano?
    tindero:libre din po..
    LOLA:ABA suwerte nga nmn ako oo...
    {nilagyan ng asin atsuka ang kanyang kamay na may plema sabay sabi ng:}
    LOLA:ETO ANG TUNAY NA BALUT...{SRPPPP....SURPPP....}
    .
    .
    .
    .YUCKY...!!
    pale pale pale pale pale Very Happy
    <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^
    <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:43 am

    kung mkapindot ka parang interesadø kah aaa.. wla namang ganyanan !


    =====
    Boy:tandaan mu lhat ng sa2bihin ko dhil imp0rtante ito?
    Girl: ok anu ba sasabhin mu??
    Boy:ahmmm',' mahal na mahal kita lagi m0ng tandaan na andito lng aq, lagi sa tabi mu...!!
    Boy: anu natandaan mu bA?? Girl: (kinilig) ah oo naman,
    Boy: good pakisabi yan sa bestfriend mu, ahH. Tnx!!
    <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:44 am

    3 L0LAs sa M0DERN0NG PANAH0N ..
    L0LA 1: baw kasakit man likod ko praktis street dancing a, cramping abi amun new steps..
    L0LA 2: ako gani sakit mata ko hampang crossfire kag open ka fb ko..
    L0LA 3: mayad pa kamu, ako gani hu, sakit hita ko sa padol sa frat namun.. hahaha..
    Very Happy
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:45 am

    KANO : Itour gud ko sa Cagayan.
    DRIVER : Cge sir. (tour..tour..)
    KANO : Pila ka years gitukod ang Capitol University?
    DRIVER : 2 yrs sir.
    KANO : sus! didto sa states 10 months lang na!
    DRIVER : aaah.. KANO : kanang Cogon?
    DRIVER : 1 year sir.
    KANO : Kadugay pud oi. Sa States, 4 months lang na! (naglagot na ang driver)
    KANO : hmm...kanang Gaisano Mall?
    DRIVER: Ambot! Wala man na ganina!
    affraid
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:45 am

    Sa kalagitnaAn ng gera !
    pedro: sumuko na kyo! wla rn kau mapa2la.
    terorista: su2ko lng kmi kung mai-spel mo ung ceasefire ?
    pedro: ituloy ang laban! patay kung patay! Pada2lhan ko kau ng crysanthemum sa inyong lbing!
    terorista: spEl crysanthemum?
    pedro: sv ko rose, bingi b? Labn kung labn..wlang spelingan . . Hahaha. .
    lol!
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:47 am

    BOY: miss, pwd mgtnung? anung oras na?
    GIRL: ngttanung k ng oras? tpos ttanungn mu name ku? tpos hhingin mu numbr ku? tpos liligwan muq? tpos aftr 1mo. pcharming akung ssgutn kta.. tpos bbsita k sa bahay..
    tpos mgddate tyo.. tpos smpre pkipot nmn aku.. tpos ddlhn muq kht san lng.. tpos mi mngyyari stn.. tpos mbbuntis aku..
    tpos ppkasal tyo.. tpos bbugbugn mu lng ako! at pnu na ang bata?! Hindi! Hndi ku ssbhn kung anung oras na! BOY: (speechless) I love you
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:49 am

    DALAWANG LASING...NAGLALAKAD."
    LASING-1: Shege pare, Ayan na yung bahay namin eh, dito na lang ako, salamat sa paghatid mo sakin ha!

    LASING-2: Mali ka pare, hindi yan ang bahay mo... diyan ako nakatira eh... kaya sa amin yang bahay na yan! Okey?

    BABAE :(Nagbukas ng pinto}.. Hoy, mga Unggoy! Anong pinagtatalunan nyo diyan? Lasing na naman kayong Mag-ama noh?
    bounce
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:49 am

    DIRTY OLD MAN: Alam mo pare, lima ang tsiks ko ngayon!

    PARE : Magaganda ba sila pare?

    D.O.M.: Maganda sila pare.... at magkakamukha pa silang lahat!

    PARE : Ha, bakit nagkaganon pare?

    D.O.M. : Lahat sila Mukhang Pera !!
    <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:49 am

    ARMY : Manong, san ba dito nagpupugad ang mga NPA..?

    MANGYAN: Sir, matagal nako dito sa bundok, pero wala pa akong nakikitang pugad ng NPA.... Ano ba kulay ng ITLOG nila sir..?
    <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:50 am

    ERAP: (Nag-e-exercise) 1234 Amen...!
    5678 Amen...!
    8765 Amen...!
    4321 Amen...!

    JINGOY: Dad, bakit may pa-amen amen ka pa..?

    ERAP: Kasi sabi ng Doktor ko... "EXERCISE RELIGIOUSLY"..!
    <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:50 am

    An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A. Visa.


    Consul : What is your name?
    Arab: Abdul Aziz

    Consul: Sex?
    Arab : Six to ten times a week

    Consul: I mean, male or female?
    Arab : both male and female and sometimes even camels

    Consul: Holy cow!
    Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!

    Consul: Man,...isn ' t it hostile?
    Arab :Horse style, dog style, any style

    Consul: Oh...dear!
    Arab : Ah Deer? Me no I love you!, they run too fast!
    <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:51 am

    "Usapan ng dalawang mayabang..."

    Tomas: Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala
    niya ang dyaryo sa akin.
    Diego: Alam ko.
    Tomas: Ha? Paano mo nalaman?
    Diego: Ikinukuwento sa akin ng aso ko.

    -----------------
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:52 am

    MISIS: Inday! nakita mo ba senyorito mo? kanina ko
    hinahanap eh!

    INDAY: Hindi ko po alam sinyura!

    MISIS: Nambabae na naman siguro yun! Di mo ba
    talaga nakita?

    INDAY: Hindi po sinyura, kasi pag gising ko po kanina ....
    wala na siya sa tabi ko eh!
    <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:52 am

    TITSER: Pedro, what is Ethics?

    PEDRO: Ethics mam is the relative of Duck !!

    TITSER: Its ok Pedro!....and that duck will lay an egg....
    and that egg will be your Grade..... Sit down!
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:53 am

    TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

    MARIA: Here it is.

    TEACHER: Correct! Now class, who discovered America ?

    CLASS: Maria Maam !! lol!
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    Post by <..baNGz_gUrLZ..>*_^^ Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:54 am

    TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

    DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

    TEACHER: What are you talking about?

    DONALD: Mam, Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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