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    FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

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    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:14 pm

    NEWS:
    FLASH REPORT


    'Baklang ginahasa, 2wang 2wa'


    'Buntis sinaksak, bata nakaligtas'


    'dalwang kaLbo, nagsabun0tan'


    'isdang nalu2n0d, patay'

    'basurer0 nag sampa ng kas0, Binasura'..


    'buLAG nakapatay, nag dilim ang paningiN'


    '0ngGoy, tawa ng tawa sa pag ba2sa ng txt hehe'!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:14 pm

    A g0rge0us lady was sitin al0ne n a bar.
    Guy:hi der!

    D lady ign0red him.

    Guy:u caught my a10ti0n as i enter d bar,is it ok 2 get ur #?

    Lady:f u have a BMW,A hauz n borcay,milli0ns of peso bnk acct n 7inches penis,den u can get my #.
    but i gues u dnt hav it so.d answr s n0!

    Guy:i dnt hve olthose, i juz hav a FERRARI,an ISLAND n palwan, biLi0n doLar bank acct. n excuse me,
    i w0nt cut 2inches of my penis juz 4 ur #
    .hahaha!!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:16 pm

    Mtn0ng q Lang..



    Nung bata kb knkgat m0 dn ung bakaL ng m0ng0L pEnciL m0 pra Lmbas ung eraser at mkpgbura ka?



    Pnppak m0 dn b ung miL0?



    Kmknta kadn b n00n sa hrp ng eLectric fan?



    CnsiLip m0 dn b n0on ung ref kung mamamatay ung iLaw hbng cnsara?



    kmkain k dn b ng nectar ng santan?



    At ngsuLat knb ng pngaLan m0 s maaLikb0k na sskyan?



    -nksmiLe ka n0?kz gnwa m0.

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:17 pm

    Isang araw may nangingisda sa parke ang isang probinsyanong si Juan... Nakita sxa ng guard..

    Guard: hoi!!! Bawal mamingwit dyan... Hindi mo ba nakikitaat nababsa? ''NO FISHING ALLOWED''

    Juan: grabe ka naman... Nililiguan ko lang naman ang uod ko eh...


    lol!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:17 pm

    C mahal sumakay na taxi..
    MAHAL:dlaybel alam mo to adles..?
    DRIVER:ano po adress...?
    MAHAL:siksik oten patay titi...!
    DRIVER:patingn nga....ah....
    66010 PASAY CITY...!


    lol! lol!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:19 pm

    si nobody,somebody at si crazy naglalaro ng taguan

    SOMEBODY:tago nako
    nobody:tago narin ako
    MAY PULIS NA DUMAAN TINANONG NI CRAZY KUNG SAAN NAGTAGO SI SOMEBODY AT NOBODY

    CRAZY:PULIS NAKITA MO BA SI SOMEBODY AT SI NOBODY
    DI BA CRAZY PANGALAN NYA....
    PULIS:ARE YOU CRAZY
    CRAZY:YES IM CRAZY
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:20 pm

    Ina: Anak? Bawal makipagsex bata ka pa, baka mabuntis ka.!

    Anak: Bawal bawal ka jan! and so wat kung bata pa ako. makikipagsex ako kung gusto ko noh? may condom naman ,
    so hindi parin ako mabubuntis. ang sarap kaya!

    TRY MO!

    lol!
    lol!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:27 am

    Husband: Hon, musta na ang tindahan?

    Wife: department store na!

    Husband: ang tuba-an?

    Wife: KTV bar na!

    Husband: ang trickad?

    Wife: taxi na!

    Husband: ang dalawa kong anak?

    Wife: lima na!


    lol!
    lol!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:28 am

    Divorced father: Anak pag-uwi mo, ibigay mo sa Nanay mo itong tseke at sabihin mo 18 years old ka na, huling theke na makukuha niya for child support, tapos tingnan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.

    Anak: Mommy, sabi ni Daddy ibigay ko daw sa ‘yo itong tseke, last support na niya ito sa akin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tingnan ko raw ang expression ng face mo.

    Mommy: Sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya, pakisabi salamat sa suporta kahit ‘di mo siya Tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo ang expression ng face niya!

    lol!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:29 am

    Sa America: 911 is very fast, five minutes after the crime, police are already there to assist.

    Sa Japan, mas mabilis, kasi sa mga bullet trains nila, kaya three minutes after the crime nandun na kaagad ang mga crime scene investigator nila.

    Sa Pilipinas, panis sila, 10 minutes before the crime, nandun na mga pulis

    lol!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:29 am

    ANAK : Tay may night swimming fuh kami mamaya!!!

    TATAY : o cge anak bazta wag ka lang magpapagabi huh!!!! hehehe!!!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:31 am

    totoy : nay may ulam ba?

    nanay : tingnan mu sa ref

    totoy : nay wala naman po taung ref eh!!!

    nanay : TANGA edi ibig sabihin wala taung ulam…

    totoy : nyEkKKKKKKK!!

    lol!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:32 am

    tatay; ank’ bumili ka ng suka

    ank; opo tay

    anak: tay nahulog po ang suka sa tulay

    tatay: bahala na yon panis na yon

    tatay: ank bumili ka ng toyo

    anak: opo tay

    anak: tay nahulog po ang toyo sa tulay

    tatay: bahala na yon panis na yon

    tatay; ank ako nalang ang bibili baka mahulog nanaman

    ank: sige po tay

    kapitbahay: pedro, ang tatay mo nahulog sa tulay

    pedro: bahala na yon panis na yon

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:32 am

    Dear Pepsi,

    Alam mo ba na coke na cokes ako sayo “royal” ka pa naman pero lagi mo akong ini “isprite naalala mo ba nung pumunta tayo sa “mountain dew” sumakay pa nga tayo ng “red horse eh muntik na nga tayong tangayin ni “gold eagle” buti na lang nandiyan si “san miguel” nakita niya si “generoso” nagkamay sila.

    Nagmamahal,

    “The bar”

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:33 am

    Apo : lo kumain naman po kayo kahit dalawang kutsara lang man

    Lolo : ah hindi ko nga kaya n kumain ng kanin kutsara pa kaya dalawa pa………

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:34 am

    KANO (trying to speak tagalog): Megkanow isang kilow mang-gow?

    PINOY : One way!

    KANO : Megkanow?

    PINOY : I sed, one way!

    KANO : Ano eybig sabeyhin one way?

    PINOY : Isang daan!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:04 pm

    i got new boy/girlfrend n! duh!

    MAS p sau.. MAS loving,

    MAS swit, MAS kind, MAS caring..

    gosh! ol things MAS s kanya..

    winner n sana kaso..

    heller.. MAS luv kya kita!

    lol!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:05 pm

    Mga klase ng utot ayon sa iyong pagkatao:

    * Walang tunog pero ubod ng bantot – plastik ka!
    * Mahina ngunit may konting sundot ng bantot – simple lang pero rock.
    * Malakas ang buga, walang amoy – puro ka salita, kulang sa gawa, nonsense.
    * Malakas na, mabaho pa – totoong tao ka! Saludo ako sa iyo!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:06 pm

    GMA: Erap,,magaling kaba sa math?

    ERAP: Sisiw yan!!

    GMA: cge,, paano mo hahatiin ang 6 na mangga sa 8 na tao??

    ERAP: eh diH gawin mong juice!!hehehe

    lol! lol!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:07 pm

    MAY MAGSYOTA NA HINDE NAGKITA NG 2 MONTHS…….

    THEN ONE DAY NAGKITA CLA AT ANG UNANG TANONG NG GURL SA BOY.,,,.

    mAhAl Mo Pa Ba AkO??

    HNDI NAKASAGOT ANG BOY… ANG GINAWA NYA,,,KINUHA NG BOY ANG KAMAY NG GURL SABAY ITINAPAT SA DIBDID NYA,.,,

    AT DUN NAPAIYAK ANG GURL..KC,……….

    ………MAY BOOBS NA RIN BOYFRIEND NYA..!!!!
    lol!
    lol!

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:07 pm

    Father;anak pa bili nga ng soft drinks..

    Son; Hot po or cold

    Father; Cold!

    Son;Sprite or coke?

    Father; Coke !

    Son;8oz or 12oz?

    Father;Ang kulit mo!.. tubig na lang!

    Son;Mineral o non-mineral?

    Father;Pilosopo ka ah… hampasin kita jan eh….

    Son;Walis tambo o walis ting2?

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAH…….

    mharistelle
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by mharistelle on Wed Dec 08, 2010 7:44 pm

    mharistelle wrote: tOtOy bibO version:
    "awit ng cute sa kantO"

    ..nung bat pa aq
    tnuruan nq ng LoLo qung
    mgbisy0h,..shabu marijuana ,rugby
    ang tinuru ng tatay qOh..


    pinagsama sma q..
    kya aq0'y nging trantad0h...

    kya ang twag nila saakin..

    'cuTe sa kant0h'



    lol!

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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by mharistelle on Wed Dec 08, 2010 7:45 pm

    pnu p0h b mgLagay ng pic d2..???

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:06 pm

    taong grasa bumili ng mansyon, para may matulugan.

    uucheehuh
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    Re: FUNNY TAGALOG QUOTES/JOKES!!!

    Post by uucheehuh on Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:08 pm

    isang eroplanong napagod sa paglipad,,, NAGLAKAD ???

    Sponsored content

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