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    FUNNY JOKES!

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    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:30 pm

    Sa lhat ng kaibgan kong ngmhal skin,
    slamat!

    Sa mga lumoko skin, my arw dn kau!

    Sa mga ngpkilig skin, sna maulit p ha!

    sa mga nanira skin, cge lang pra ckat!

    Sa mga nang insul2 sken
    ng sobra2. don't wori tym will cum!

    Sa mga ngpaiyak skin, iiyak dn kau!

    Sa mnga taong ngshare ng xprienzs lyf at
    advcs, gnun prn ha?

    Sa taong mhal aq, mhal dn kta..

    Sa mga plastik skin, mas plastik ako sayo!

    Sa mga taong nsktan ko,
    ptawarin nyo aq!

    At sa bmbsa n2.. alm m f san k jan..

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:42 pm

    (Nahuli n teacher si Dingdong na nagchecheat)
    Teacher: Ganyan ka na talaga ka bobo Dingdong?!
    Dingdong: Ma’am! Seeking help is not a sign of ignorance.
    It is an intellectual act that allows people to admit that some situations are not
    meant to be handled alone.
    Teacher: (natulalah!)

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:43 pm

    Baby James : Yaya, am I normal?

    Yaya : Of course! You're not like them. Why did you ask?

    Baby James : I'm confused.
    My grandfather is NINOY.
    My uncle is NOYNOY.
    My brother is ABNOY.
    My dad is CHICKBOY.
    My mom IBA IBA ANG BOY.
    My ninong is tito boy, but he's not a BOY.
    Di kaya ako BUDOY?!

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:44 pm

    boy:tay ang damot ng classmate ko!
    tatay;bakit naman
    boy d ako inimvite sa burol ng tatay nya di tuloy ako nakakain ng biskwit!! hindo ko din iinvite sa burol mo tay ha? sana malapit na para makaganti ako

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:45 pm

    Customer: waiter saan nah bah ang inorder qng Chicken curry at sabaw??...Ilan bah ang COOK nyo d2??..
    .


    Waiter: ahw..sorry man wla kaming COOK.....PEPSI lang...
    hahaha!!!!

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:46 pm

    Bakit pag lalakeng GWAPO ang tumitingin sa babae ang tawag CHICKBOY..
    Pero pag DI-DWAPO ang tawag MANYAK ..
    Tapos pag ang sumusunod-sunod sa babae ay GWAPO ang tawag SECRET ADMIRER..
    Pero pag DI-GWAPO ang tawag STALKER...
    Pag ang ngumingiti-ngiti ay GWAPO ang tawag FRIENDLY...
    Pero pag DI-GWAPO ang tawag BASTOS..

    Ito ba ang tawag na Facial Discrimination ?

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:47 pm

    Kung gagawa ka ng isang bagay na di pa naiimbento, anu yun?
    example:
    Tanduay capsule 500mg.
    Isang tableta lang sapul agad.
    ALSO AVAILABLE:
    Tanduay syrup for babies 6-12 months.
    Tanduay litro pack natitimplang tanduay. Para bottomless ang inuman.
    Tanduay candy para pwede kahit may klase.
    Tanduay flavor ng pansit canton busog ka na may tama ka pa..


    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:47 pm

    Teacher: Juan?
    Dingdong: yes ma’am?
    Teacher: 1+3?
    Dingdong: 4 ma’am..
    Teacher: very good! How about you Dunky?
    Dunk: yes ma’am?
    Teacher: 3+1?
    Rogen: ayan ka na naman ma’am, kapag mahirap ung tanong, ako ipapasagot niyo!

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:49 pm

    Boy: Mahal na mahal kita. Lahat ng kaya ko, ibibigay ko. Handa akong mamatay para sa’yo..
    Girl: Sample! Sample! Sample!!

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:49 pm

    Girl: Sasagutin kita pag dalawang buwan na..
    Boy: Cge maghihintay ako..
    (after 2 months)
    Boy: Sassagutin mo na ba ako?
    Tumingin ka sa
    bintana..
    Boy: (tumingin nga)
    Girl: Ilang buwan ang nakikita mo?
    Boy: Isa
    Girl: O, isa lang pala eh.. sabi ko pag dalawang buwan na!
    Tanga!

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:50 pm

    BOY: yang kili kili mo parang cake.
    GIRL: Bakit?
    BOY: Black forest.haha!
    GIRL: grr.. yang face mo naman parang ice cream!
    BOY: nakakatunaw?
    GIRL:hindi, rocky road!haha!

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:51 pm

    top 10 text na sadyang mahirap replayan:
    1. ganun ba?!
    2. ahh
    3. ngek!
    4. hmm..
    5. hehe
    6. haha.
    7. ou nga..
    8. awp/awh.
    9. yup/yah.
    At higit sa lahat,
    10. K.

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:52 pm

    Sa Mental Hospital..
    Doctor: Anong gagawin mo pag nakalabas ka na ng Mental?
    Patient: "Titiradurin ko ang buwan!"
    Doctor: Mags-stay ka pa ng 5 buwan! *5 months later*
    Doctor: Anong gagawin mo pag nakalabas ka na ng Mental?
    Patient: Uuwi nako samin.
    Doctor: Tapos?
    Patient: Magt-trabaho ako.
    Doctor: Tapos?
    Patient: Manliligaw ako ng babae.
    Doctor: Tapos?
    Patient: Magpapakasal kami.
    Doctor: Tapos?
    Patient: Maghahanimun kami.
    Doctor: Tapos?
    Patient: Hihiga kami sa kama.
    Doctor: Tapos?
    Patient: Huhubarin ko damit, bra at panty niya.
    Doctor: Tapos?
    Patient: Kukunin ko yung garter tapos gagawin kong tirador. At titiradurin ko ang buwan

    HAHAHAHA Smile)

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:53 pm

    Lawyer: Who stabbed you?
    Nino: pare, hindi ko naiintindihan, tulungan mo ako pare. Ekaw kasi marunong ka magenglish.
    Miko: sus! hindi mo naintindihan pare?.
    Nino: ounga pare hindi ko naintindihan. Anu sabi ng lawyer pare?
    Miko: SINO DAW SI TABYO!!

    hahahaha Razz

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:56 pm

    SA CLASSROOM:
    PUPIL: Ma'am ambaho po dito may umutot!!

    TEACHER: Ok class kung sino ang umutot aminin na,
    bibigyan ko ng 99 highest grade!!

    PEDRO:( paika-ika lumakad palapit sa teacher)
    ma'am gawin nyo nang 100 kasi NATAE NA AKO!!!!

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:02 pm

    Amo: inday kpg may naghahanap samin sabihin mo "umalis" "nagsimba sa quiapo" kpg tinanong kung kailan ang balik sabihin mo "malapit na"

    Inday: opo ate!
    (Mine-morize ni inday ung sagot pero hindi ang tanong)
    (Habang naglilinis sa labas si inday, merong nagtatanong mula sa BAYGON Company

    Ahente: Mom, meron po ba kau lamok, ipis, at daga?

    Inday: Umalis!

    Ahente: Ha?? San Pumunta.

    Inday: Nagsimba sa Quiapo!

    Ahente: Nababaliw na Ata to?

    Inday: Malapit na!

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:03 pm

    Matanong ko lang..
    .
    Nung bata ka pa ba kinagat mo din ba ung bakal ng monggol pencil mo para lumabas ung eraser at makapagbura ka?
    .
    Nilalagay mo ba ung milo sa palad mo at dinidilaan ito?
    .
    Kumakanta ka ba din ba noon sa harap ng electreicfan?
    .
    Sinisilip mo din ba ung refrigerator kung mamatay ung ilaw habang sinasara?
    .
    Sinipsip mo din ba ung bulaklak ng santan?
    .
    Ginagawa mo rin bang sigarilyo ang stick-O?
    .
    At nagsulat ka din ban g pangalan sa maalikabok na sasakyan?

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:04 pm

    “Teacher: Juan! Paano mo nagawang perfekin ang exam?!
    Juan: bilib ka na naman maam! Mata ko pa lang ginamit ko jan ah..paano kung pati utak ko nah?
    Teacher: sa oras na maperfect ka pa. bagsak ka na..”

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:05 pm

    “Dakakaidis talaga..
    Bay sipod dadabad ako..
    Barado dababad ilong ko..
    Bahirap dadabad batulog..
    O bakit gadyad ka bubasa?
    Bay sipod ka did ba?”

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:06 pm

    “Lito: bakit may tali ka sa paa?
    Pedro: gusto ko nang mamatay!! Magbibigti ako!
    Lito: bat sa paa? Dapat sa leeg!
    Pedro:sinusubukan ko na sa leeg kanina, kaso hindi ako makahinga eh..

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:06 pm

    Student: Sir, kumusta po ang grades ko??
    Teacher: aba iha! Kasing ganda ng buhok mo..
    Student: talaga po? Wow naman!..
    Teacher: ou, parang bagong rebond.. BAGSAK NA BAGSAK!
    cheers

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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:07 pm

    Pedro:anu ulam ninyo?
    Juan:Blanched green leafy veggie with crushed sweet tomato in sparkling salted sea food.
    Pedro:wow! Ang sarap naman nun.anu un?
    Juan:talbos ng kamote at bagoong na may pinisang kamatis.kayo anu ulam ninyo?
    Pedro:fish fillet de el nenyo.
    Juan:wow susyal! Anu yun?
    Pedro:tuyo!

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:08 pm

    “Kung gusto mo ng girlfriend na pwede sumama kahit saan mo dalhin, pwede gumala maya’t maya. Bat di mo ligawan si DORA?HAHA..
    _____________________________________________________
    Very Happy

    lovelyrosales
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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:08 pm

    When I hear the song
    “JUST THE WAY YOU ARE” and “2012”
    It reminds me that
    “When I see your face” “it is the end of the world.”haha.

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    Re: FUNNY JOKES!

    Post by lovelyrosales on Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:09 pm

    BINYAG:
    Pari: Ano ang pangalan ng bata?
    Tatay: Surf po!
    Pari: Hindi pwede yan, pangalan yan ng sabon.
    Tatay: Eh, Bakit yung asawa ko Perla .. Tapos ako Ariel?
    Pari: O siya, Sige .. Surf na kung surf!

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